Bad Cat!

OK
confession time
*deep breath*
This one wont be easy
Dexter, my bubble-eyed gold fish
He was so cute
I had him for about a year and a half
He was a fast swimmer
All wiggly
And so cute
All shiny
White
Orange
Black
Gold
Big bubble eyes
Pretty fan tail
Then one day I came home from work and noticed that Dexter's scales were looking sort of flaky
Like they were flaking off of him
Within 3 days his colors were all but gone
He was no longer cute
He was just white and flaky
And he was no longer a quick swimmer
In fact
He was more like a floater than a swimmer
But he was alive
He was this way for three or more days
I didn't know what to do
I couldn't flush him
Not while he was still among the living
So I decided to get out the yellow pages
I called several vets before I found one that knew anything about goldfish
I talked to the vet for only a couple minutes
And I was so relieved
He seemed to know immediately what was wrong with Dexter
And he seemed to know too, how to cure him
He told me that Dexter had a fungus called ick
He told me to raise the temperature of Dexter's water to 90 degrees
I thanked him
Hung up the phone
Got a thermometer from the bathroom
Went to the kitchen
Took out a pot
Filled it with water
Put it on the stove
Heated the water
scooped Dexter out of his tank with a net
And stuck him, net and all
into a pot on the burner
full of hot water
He died instantly of course
And now that it's over I can see how bad it must look for me when I claim to be innocent of his carefully planned murder
I phoned the vet
I Started yelling at him for what he made me do to poor Dexter
And as I was telling him the result of what I had just done
He yelled back at me "You did what!?"
After I repeated what I did
He told me I was supposed to raise the temperature approximately 1 degree an hour
He told me this in a tone that said "you're too stupid to have a goldfish for a pet"
I hated him
So I hung up on him
But not before blaming him for the murder
And calling him a sadistic asshole
I burried Dexter in the garden
Where BC promptly dug him up
And ate him
BC stood for
Big Cat
or
Black Cat
or
Boy cat
or
Beethoven
or any number of things I could think of that fit
But after that incident
It only stood for one thing
And that was.....


Bad Cat